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*// バカモノの詩 ★
Friday, March 30, 2012

I used to be alone all the time. Didn’t I use to think that it was normal to not be surrounded by people? People always betray other people. The defence that I created for myself was perfect.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Suicide is the proof of life.


Sunday, March 25, 2012

Come closer now
I know your desire is to be desired

You're like a rare disease
I know you're in love
With love I believe

Do you expect me to wait here?
(All alone in my thoughts and fears)
My whole life could flash before your eyes
(Hope one day that you realize)
This isn't the way it's supposed to be

I'm feeling rather empty. I don't know I just wanna lay in the sun but unfortunately noone was around to join me. . .
I've been listening to Anberlin every since I came home yesterday, keeps my mood down but it feels somewhat good if noones around.
I'm rather unhappy alone then full of energy and happiness with noone around.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Todays topic is gonna be a little kinky for some people, so if you're not interested in sexuality or anything concerning sex just skip that entry :D
this is just a warning ;D so don't get offended I warned you !

so lately I've come back to my usual internet amount and my usual blogging thing
and I've come back to my fetish :3
awww yeah !
Not like weird things with feet or shoes or anything xD
I dunno, I have a favourite person concerning that I'm speaking of

Kota Morgue or Skyler Morgue

she's just PERFECT
I don't know why but she's just hot to me
with ot without clothes and by god I've seen both XD
I don't know but I kind of like that goth fetish bondage style D:
I don't know if thats kinky or what but hey, thats how I get turned on
sexy woman wearing that stuff. unf unf unf.
ah well, I was in the urge to write that down, and since now I'm a pervert you can nail me down ;D

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

aber i mag nit warta alt werda und den sterba
will d'erda unter de füess schpüra
schaffa zum leba und nit leba zum schaffa

und egal was dia andra segend i blib mi selber
kum machs eso wia i und du wirsch verstoh

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

I'm feeling so repulsive.
I feel ugly and fat.
I guess its time to spent some nights with ana again.
Its not that I'm having a number in my brain or anything, its just my ugw again.
Not that far away, easy to be done.
I'm not in the mood to meet with anyone. I just wanna lay in bed or sit on my writing desk and draw and listen to good music, forgetting time and space.
But life is not as easy as that, apart from school I guess my bf wants to see me. My friends wanna meet too. Right now I wish for some peace.
I don't feel right in my body, not even the weight but I hate that feeling of beeing a girl and looking like one...I've dressed way too girly in the last few days I don't feel like myself anymore. Not even close.
Wrong, so wrong in many ways, thats how I feel.
disgusting and repulsive, hideous.

Sacrifice is giving up something good for something better

Monday, March 12, 2012

Unter der Laterne wartet meine Seele auf dich
Deine Augen lügen nie, nur dein Mund ist ein Dieb
Der jeden Coup mit ei'm Lächeln und ein Kuss unterschrieb
In dei'm Bett bin ich sicher vor den Klippen der Welt
Meine Rebellion ist an dein' Lippen zerschellt
Du bist der Abspann vom Film und ich sitze noch da
Du bist besser als du glaubst, auch wenn du es nicht magst
Ich weiß alle deine komischen Geschichten sind wahr
Der Tag hat gestimmt es war nur nicht das richtige Jahr
Was du denkst oder fühlst hast du niemals gesagt
Dein dunkler Zauber lenkt die Zeit darum fließt sie so schnell

Du bist, alles für mich, alles das was mir Angst macht
Meine silberne Kugel, mein Kryptonit und mein Anthrax
Du bist, das was ich vom Schicksal verlangt hab
Die Patrone für mein Kopf in der Kammer der Pumpgun

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

I know I can get pretty mad and weird.
I'm acting strange when things aren't working the way I want them to work.
I don't know but I'm getting pissed off so easy. . .
And I'm always feeling sorry for the person whose suffering under my emotions but I can't help it.
Right now I'm feeling too emotional for anything concerning people.
I'd rather stay home in bed and sleep then get up and go to school.
I'm not feeling well at all.
Today I'll get some meds which will totally affect my body in the wrong way. . .like the opposite.
Thats so disturbing. Everything I'm working for gets fucked up by such a big fear.
I'm so sad. No not sad. . .I'm depressed, once again.
I don't want this sickness affect me. . .I had a depression down just recently. . .
No. But what can I do ?
Right, nothing !

Fucked up and left alone I'll grab my jacket and leave.
Once again.


Liam | 18

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