I've thought about the idea of writing a journal quite a lot. Like, I could keep it like a diary and always state how my mind is and everything but to be honest I don't think I'd keep up to it, I'm not a diary person nor a journal person. My blog is filled with such bitter melancholy and so many sad moments I can't even bare to read all of my posts at once because it fires back everytime. But on the other hand I really enjoy blogging and I wanna keep it up. Bringing my cam with me wherever I go as well as my sketchbook (which is already a part of my bag or rucksack) I don't know why but I feel the need to capture pretty moments because my mind isn't that trustworthy anymore, like I sometimes can't decide whats right and wrong and if I'm mistaken or if its alright for me to feel this and that way...

Its so hard to go through therapy and question everything you and other people around you do...it helps but its hard work and if you can't move on a certain problem and you just fall back a whole lot...

Its normal to have downs and all that jazz but it annoys me...no rather it frustrates me. It blocks everything...personal life and my relationship and it sucks. I don't enjoy being myself a lot. Maybe thats why I have the need to fill my life with a bit of joy and that stuff and I don't know if its a good idea to share that all on this rather old blog because I feel the need to cut everything and just start new and fresh and clean...

But on the other hand this blog is really dear to me for some reason I can't explain. What to do ?

I've thought about the idea of writing a journal quite a lot. Like, I could keep it like a diary and always state how my mind is and everything but to be honest I don't think I'd keep up to it, I'm not a diary person nor a journal person. My blog is filled with such bitter melancholy and so many sad moments I can't even bare to read all of my posts at once because it fires back everytime. But on the other hand I really enjoy blogging and I wanna keep it up. Bringing my cam with me wherever I go as well as my sketchbook (which is already a part of my bag or rucksack) I don't know why but I feel the need to capture pretty moments because my mind isn't that trustworthy anymore, like I sometimes can't decide whats right and wrong and if I'm mistaken or if its alright for me to feel this and that way...

Its so hard to go through therapy and question everything you and other people around you do...it helps but its hard work and if you can't move on a certain problem and you just fall back a whole lot...

Its normal to have downs and all that jazz but it annoys me...no rather it frustrates me. It blocks everything...personal life and my relationship and it sucks. I don't enjoy being myself a lot. Maybe thats why I have the need to fill my life with a bit of joy and that stuff and I don't know if its a good idea to share that all on this rather old blog because I feel the need to cut everything and just start new and fresh and clean...

But on the other hand this blog is really dear to me for some reason I can't explain. What to do ?