儚いコエのイノチごと 掻き消して スベテ
I feel fragile and lost.
I don't feel happy and I feel so alone.
Like I don't even belong here, like people moved on without me and I'm just a burden.
At least thats how I feel. Thats the feeling I get from people that are close to me.
I'm a useless waste of space.
I've lost who I am, who I was, who I'm supposed.
I look down my body and all I see is a failure that I can't identify myself with.
Yet everytime I try to talk about it (because people told me to) I get closer to the edge because in the end noone understands and lets me down.
There you have it.
For weeks now I'm home alone roaming through rooms in my mind that won't get any happier. I feel left alone. Noone is taking notice of me unless I'm the one reaching out shouting.
I never hear ANY apologies. I only hear myself screaming that I'm sorry because otherwise I'll lose anything that is dear to me. I never hear anyone missing me or thinking of me. I'm just a ghost that clings to other people.
But its not about what's good for you right ? It's about what you need.
And if thats a broken tragedy ending ? Then its that.
Although its sad that you waste so much energy in everything. In thinking it over and over again to see your mistake because everyone else is acting like they're not the one to blame, and you sadly believe em.
left alone waiting. here I am.
I'll just swallow my argues and live with a smile.
Maybe like this I'm the only one suffering but everyone around me will like me and be happy ?
Just like the pathetic thing I really am.
Dein Lachen ist ein Schwert
Es drang tief in mein Leben
und bracht es zum erbeben
Doch auch wenn es mich verzerrt
Zieh die Klinge noch nicht raus
Denn den Schmerz, den es entfacht
Den übersteh ich keine Nacht